long time no...blog ?

wow. i am really horrible at this blogging thing. i really enjoy the idea of having all of these memories documented, but i suck at taking the time to do it!

so much has happened since i wrote 4 MONTHS AGO! here are some highlights:

1. we aren't living in canada anymore. i am now a permanent resident of SWEDEN!





2. niklas and i drove over 3,000 miles during the holiday season. canada-florida-mississippi. the first day of our trip was spent creeping through the worst snow snow either of us had seen, let alone drive in!!

3. christmas with the family was awesome! it was great to spend time with everyone before the big move. we took mya to disney world and she l.o.v.e.d. it!






4. since i knew i wouldn't get to have good ol' american food for while, i ate at all the best restaurants. good food will always make it into any list of "highlights".

5. i got to see a lot of people in MS that i haven't seen in a long time. i have an old friend that i was sure i would never see again (mentioned in the last post) and i actually got to see him! that was one of the best parts of my trip there. it is so great to see someone that i haven't seen in 8 years...and being able to pick up where we left off. i also got to spend a night hanging out at harvey's with 2 of my oldest friends and my uncle. that night was a blast. thanks lindsey and kelly for the watermelon blast.

6. i found out january 10 that....WE ARE EXPECTING OUR 2nd BABY!! i am due september 15 and i can't wait to experience this pregnancy. i absolutely loved being pregnant with mya and i can only pray that this time is a great as the last.

7. mya had her 2nd birthday!! i can not believe she is 2. she is such a big girl now and she has started talking SO much in the last 3 weeks. it is amazing to watch her grow so much every day.




so, that pretty much sums up great points of the holiday season. of course with the ups come the downs. a certain member of my family decided to ditch out on an obligation to me and christmas with the whole family...causing me to have to fly mya to FL ($140) so she wouldn't have to endure the 3 day drive from canada to FL. i was supposed to fly down and come back the next morning. the return flight to buffalo was canceled, so i had to buy a new ticket $(150), on the spot, to toronto. that flight got delayed. after finally making it to toronto, i discovered there were no rental cars available to go one way to buffalo. i had to get a cab ride home ($125) and borrow a car from a friend. we were stranded in burlington for 2 days because of the snow storm. finally, we were able to find a cab company willing to go to buffalo ($200!). i know. it's not necessary to mention this drama, but it was a situation that attempted to destroy the whole family's christmas, when in fact, we all had a wonderful time!

as soon as mya and i arrived in sweden, we got the stomach flu. that was nasty. i suffered from severe insomnia for the first 4 weeks in sweden (not great when you are pregnant) but i have had no morning sickness! so, does that even out? i traded nausea for insomnia?

we move into our very first home march 15. i am so nervous about the financial situation of a new home, a new car- since ours is too small for 2 car seats, and a baby all in a matter of 8 months, but i know it will all work out in the end. i am very excited to move in and unpack! by the time we get into our house, we will have lived out of suitcases for 3 months! i want all of my shoes! and closet space! and crafty stuff! and my own bed!!! 3 more weeks.

i can't think of much else now. i know i will go to bed and spend hours staring into the dark thinking of fun things to write about, since it has been 4 months since i wrote, but it is 2am amd my brain feels zapped. i will have to keep a notebook by the bed. i feel a "random thoughts" post coming soon!

.soul mates.

this is probably one of those posts that is just for me. not really entertaining, but therapeutic.
so we had out interview at the swedish consulate in toronto on october 15. it official! we are now just waiting for the paperwork to go through. i am really so excited! there are just so many changes that this move will bring, mostly great changes, but then there is the downside. i haven't really allowed myself to think about what this will mean for my sister and i, or my relationship with macy...or the relationship between macy and mya. even as i am writing this i can tell that i am still doing a good job at not really thinking about it too deeply. i do feel sad, but until i get to the point where i can't even fathom the sadness that i am feeling, i know i am still suppressing it. i will get back to that when the time comes.
i have been thinking so much about those people in my life that i can truly call soul mates. "friend" is such an overused and deceiving word, and while i have a couple of true friends, i feel that a true soul mate means so much more. the sad thing is that i am not even that close to some of those people anymore. can i say, without sounding crazy ?!?, that i even dream about it regularly? it kinda consumes my mind more than i would like for it to.
i feel like a lot of my life has been spent saying goodbye to people, so maybe that is why i have such anxiety about losing these people forever. i already don't see ANY of these people as much as i would like (they live in 3 different states in completely different areas of the country) and now i am moving to sweden! is it possible that i may never ever see some of them again?? i can't handle it! it is very depressing for me.
one of these people i grew up with (my first memory of her was probably 4th grade..?) and i am still in contact with her on a very regular basis. that's a good situation. we will last forever. we came from the same place, we enjoyed pregnancy together and we understand each other. i don't fear losing her- she is one of those people that live up to the true sense of the word, friend. one of these people i have only known for 5 years, but she was literally beside me through the hardest times of my life. she was with me when i was going through things that most people wouldn't understand. she didn't write me off, when in reality, her life would have been easier if she had. i never felt that she judged me. she only showed support. we still talk often, but it's not the same as spending time together. one of the sadder situations is a girl that i went to high school with. we talk very rarely, but when we do, we just pick up where we left off. we were bestest friends in high school, then we graduated. our lives took very different paths and we lost touch for a long time, but again, when we caught up with one another, it was just like old times. so now to the worst. this is about a guy that was a very big part of my life for so many years. and like with the other, we graduated and completely lost touch. i always wondered where he was and how he was doing, but we didn't have mutual friends, so i never even heard about him. then one day out of the blue, he messaged me and from there, we have emailed and tried to stay in touch, but we haven't seen each other in 8 years. i really think it is possible that i may never see him again. i can't stand that thought. it really does hurt.
so, what to do? just accept that life works that way?? no way! i can't do that! i want these people to remain in my life, and not just in thought, but in reality. these people have made enormous impacts on my life and i can't stand the thought of being so disconnected from them.
as usual, i pray. i pray about everything. i pray that if these people are really as important in my life as i have made them, that things will work out. i guess that's really all i can do.

.funny stuff.

Saturday Night Live F*ing ROCKED the house!!! The whole show!! Amy Poehler...Weekend Update...Rap about Sarah Palin. It is a must see!! The whole show was funny as hell.

.random thoughts.

1. Alec Baldwin quote: "The United States is a place that is typically run by white men with names like Ford, Reagan, Carter & , & Bush." This was in promo for a show about how celebrities have a huge impact on the people's vote. I can't believe he actually said that. idiot.

2. I met this girl that lived in my building. Her son and Mya are about the same age, so we hung out a few times and the kids played. I met her husband, Jason, and quite frankly he seemed like a skeeze. He is a real estate agent and she stays at home with the kid. I never saw her unless we set up a play date. So, one day she leaves her son's bowl and spoon over here. Since I never saw her in passing, I sent her an e-mail to let her know that I could run it down sometime. She never responded. I e-mailed her a few times. Nothing. It was a nice little bowl! Of course now I see her and her weird-o husband everywhere! She avoids me like we have some weird history. It's just all so weird. If you can tell by my posts, I am usually up really late and before I go to bed, I sit outside and just try to clear my head. I am ALWAYS seeing this Jason guy coming and going all hours of the night. It is so strange. She is always couped up in that apartment, never seems like she leaves, and he is running around all hours of the night. ??

3. wish list item: new camera. Not a huge expensive one, but not just a little hand held one.

4. Is Obama the anti-christ? Seriously?!

5. Is Jamie Lynn REALLY pregnant again?? WTF??

6. I have to dedicate "random thoughts" to my sister, Rae.

She is the random thoughts creator in my world. These are some of her random thoughts...copied and pasted:

8. I'd so love to take drum lessons.

4. When people say supposeBly, I want to kick them in the face. (i have to agree)

7. I am going for Rhianna's hair before she cut it short short. Like it was in the H&M t-shirt ad. Razored, messy bob w/ longer bangs to the side. Then, I'll do funky colors all the time, just a couple of strips here and there. But I'd almost like enough hair to do in a tiny ponytail, but then I remember that hair is BORING, and I really can't imagine not being at the hairline with a layered back section.

10. I cleaned out a closet 2 hours ago for donations and now my throat is closing up and feels like sandpaper scraped along it. Fucking allergies.

1. Katie Holmes' hair on Perez today - love it.

2. But- If I got it and my hair does do really great like that (very easy to fix) - I would look like moma, not super chic like her.

3. Wtf is up with Suri still drinking a bottle? Isn't she like 5?

9. I came across the pix yesterday of me, you, and Nicole and her sister when you and Stephen were visiting.

Random sub-thoughts, volume 1:

a. Damn, we were both...shall we say..."puffy."

b. Damn, were were tanned.

c. Damn, your hair was rocking.

d. Damn, my highlights were cuuuuuuute.

See. She comes up with most of her random thoughts while she is doing school work. She will graduate in May with her doctorate. !!! I am so proud of and for her. She has worked her ass off for years in school and she is almost done! It is funny to me b/c she probably can't point to China on a map (even though we have over come this in some way and we rock at Pictionary) and she calls me to ask how to use her cell phone, but you ask her anything about any statistic ever, anything to do with sociology in any way, anything about mother hood, her views (and she will back up everyone with factual information that you can research) or anything about celeb gossip and she can tell you more than you ever wanted to know in the first place. So there you go. My first official "Random Thoughts". Thanks, Rae.

.thanksgiving.

Today was Thanksgiving in Canada. We went to a friend's place yesterday and had the biggest meal ever! It was delicious. I made my ham today. Think I should have cooked the ham longer, but it was still good. This was what I cooked today. It is the smallest Thanksgiving dinner, EVER. I think I may try to make a turkey for the U.S. Thanksgiving. Scary.

Mya and I are going to WY in a week. I am soooo excited! I wanted to go back out before we moved. I am excited for Mya to spend some time with Granddaddy. She will also get to go trick-or-treating with Libby and will also go to Libby's birthday party! She will have so much fun!

That's all. Not much going on here. :)

.recipe.

It is Thanksgiving time in Canada! No real significance to me, but I never pass up a chance to make some de-li-cious food. I needed a great ham recipe for Easter this year, and this is what I found. It is honestly the best recipe for ham that I have ever had. I am making it tomorrow and thought I would pass it on. Yummy.

Old Fashioned Ham with Mustard Glaze














epicurious.com
oven temp: 325f
serves: 10 ?

Ingredients:
1-10lb smoked ham
1 c. unsweetened apple juice
1/2 c. whole grain Dijon mustard
2/3 c. brown sugar
1/4 c. honey
meat thermometer

Directions:
place ham in roasting pan. pour juice over the ham.
cover ham with parchment paper, then cover ham and pan with foil.
bake for about 3h45m. ham needs to be 145f.
remove from oven and raise oven temp to 375f.
discard juices from pan.
cut off rind, leaving some fat. score ham 1/4" deep.
spread on mustard. press on sugar. drizzle honey over ham.
bake 30 min.
cool for about 30 min.

.nice to meet you.

Ah, thanks! *i am shaking every one's hands* Thanks for the warm welcome! I have now crossed the threshold into the blogging world. I am not sure how often I will even do this, but I feel like I would regret not keeping track of my random thoughts. We have so many crazy things going on right now, so I know I will forget so many little things. So, this is my attempt at remembering...in the future....or..never mind. It may not be the least bit entertaining to anyone, but I will be glad I at least tried it out. My grammar is not the best, my words may not be PG rated and I may not make sense a lot. That's it.

So, what's on my mind?? There were many wonderful random thoughts earlier, (Jamire-Aquan was one of them) then I had to set up this account and it used all my brain power at such a late hour. Most of my randomness occurs between the hours of 10pm and 300am. I am alone with Mya all day, Niklas comes home from work, we do the family thing, Mya goes to bed, Niklas goes to bed and then I finally have time to just hang out with myself. It's hard to just go to bed and not have some totally down time. Anyway, that is my day. every day. I usually talk to Rae and Robin, but other than that...yep. I myspace a lot. I am sort of an addict. Many people know this about me. I don't keep it secret. I want them to know I can see their shit. Kinda kidding, but really!?! You can totally see people's lives on there! I can keep up with gossip in 5 different towns through myspace. Thanks, Tom. I thought about blogging on there, but never had the ambition. Maybe having an "official" blog page will make it more desirable for me.

Random family shiz: (like ANYONE that doesn't know me will ever read this. I just like the story) I live in Ontario with Niklas and Mya.

I grew up in MS and when I was 21, moved to WY. I lived there, and had some of of the most life changing experiences, until I was 23. I moved from there to NY for work b/c I was broke! This decision turned out to be the very best thing that I had ever done. I moved there Nov. 16, 2005. I met Niklas Nov. 18. Our first date was Nov. 27 and we were married a year later in Central Park, in NYC. I was 8 months pregnant with Mya and we lived in Ontario. Mya was born in Jan. of '07. She is the most amazing creation I have ever laid eyes on. She and Niklas have been true miracles in my life. I knew Niklas was the one as soon as we started dating. He was all the things all the other guys weren't and he was certainly not the things some of the worse guys were. See, that sentence is an example of something that may not make sense to you, but I get it! He was great and we hit it off immediately. The only problem was that he was from Sweden and he only came here as a temporary rep. for his company. What to do, what to do? GET PREGNANT!

-can I just say that my Mom actually asked me if we got pregnant so that he could get a visa to live in the u.s. Seriously. "Sure, Mom. We decided to get pregnant. We said never mind to the whole idea of just getting married!!!"

So, no. We didn't plan to get pregnant with Mya, but I can tell you honestly- I could not have possibly been more excited if I had planned it. Niklas needed a day, but once he had a chance to talk to his mom and Tobias, he realized that it's perfectly normal for humans to breed and make babies. It's kinda what we do. We were transferred to Canada through Niklas' work. That was 2 years ago. I am over Canada. I have given it a fair chance. I have t.r.i.e.d. to make it work here. We hate it. SO........we are moving to SWEDEN! I am so excited. For the first time in my life, I feel like I am doing the completely right thing. I am 100% confident that this is the right move for my family and it is a wonderful feeling.

Random thought 1,011: Michael Phelps- you f*ing rock dude. You are amazing. You are still a nerd. Sorry, dude. But hey, it's workin' for you!! Rock it, yo.
Random thought 1,011.2: The fact that I grew up where I did means that hip-hop and rap will always have a lil spot in my heart. So yeah. Watching SNL. Michael Phelps is the host. Lil Wayne is the artist (?). They're a couple of weird looking humans.

OK. Maybe I should go for now. Monday is Canadian Thanksgiving so we are going to a Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. (Thanksgiving Day '06 is when we moved here) I am taking a side and dessert: deviled eggs and banana pudding. and yum.